Monthly Archives: October 2012

Pregnant Wildebeest Series Part 2: Obsessive Reading

October 19, 2012

I’m going to be totally straight with you: my first trimester sucked.

Friends would call. They’d say things like, “Hey! Haven’t seen you in a while. Do you guys want to go hiking/out for sushi/to a movie?”

And I say, “Gee, I’d love to, but I have to stay home and throw up.”

Actually, I’d lie and say things like: “Sorry, but I really have a lot of work to get done.” Or, “Can’t, I need to work on my ribbon-dancing routine.”

And then I stayed home and cried into my bowl of organic mac and cheese because I was so hungry and nothing would stay down. (Okay, that was just one night.)

(Friends, this is me officially telling you that we still like you. It was just a rough few months.)

And then I stayed home and read. Obsessively. It brought me back to the days when I devoured Goosebumps books under my dad’s book signing table (I could read 1.5 Goosebumps during an average book signing. All I’d have to do is remember the title and page number and I could pick up where I left off at the next book store.)

I’ve alway been a fast reader (and my job necessitates it) but pregnancy has made me a scary-fast reader. One particularly sick week I read 3 books in 4 days. Another night I read a novel (and found its grammatical errors–careful with quotation marks people) in the time it took David to go to a party for a couple of hours and come back. I told David I think I might be a savante.

He said that also explains why I no longer have any contact with the outside world.

Want a list of books to read? Here’s all I can remember from my first trimester reading, and I am sparing you the pregnancy books (mercy):

  • Turn of Mind, by Alice LaPlante (Read this!)
  • Drop City, by T.C. Boyle (All sorts of sexy hippies in this one. Unbelievable writing.)
  • Miserly Moms, by Jonni McCoy (Trying to learn the art of frugality.)
  • The Piano Teacher, by Janice Y.K. Lee (Excellent.)
  • The Knife of Never Letting Go, by Patrick Ness (Book club choice, and very interesting.)
  • Attachments, by Rainbow Rowell (I just realized that the author’s first name is Rainbow. It made me like the book even more.)
  • Maine, by J. Courtney Sullivan (Great.)
  • Sugarhouse: Turning the Neighborhood Crack House Into Our Home Sweet Home, by Matthew Batt. (Intimidating.)
  • St. Lucy’s Home for Girls Raised by Wolves, by Karen Russell (Weird. Very weird. You should try it.)
  • The Gap Year, by Sarah Bird. (Enjoyed. Except for all the talk of food. That almost did me in.)
  • Don’t Breathe a Word, by Jennifer McMahon. (This is a book about spooky fairies that I enjoyed. Enough said.)
  • My Favorite Midlife Crisis (Yet), by Toby Devens. (Please don’t ask me why I read this one. I just did. And besides some weirdly off-color language throughout I rather enjoyed it.)
  • The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, by Gary D. Chapman. (I really recommend this.)

And: A sexy book about a cowboy and a woman whose son is deaf. I can’t remember the title, but it had something to do with “Blue.” Google was no help in this matter.

I think it’s time we sign up for Comcast. I could really go for some reality TV right about now.





Pregnant Wildebeest Series Part 1: The Dr. Brewer Diet

October 16, 2012

I could easily write 1,000 words on how bad my morning sickness was. I could tell you I cried 3/4 days, had serious depression, and ended up on an IV at one point because no one–not even a Pregnant Wildebeest–can survive on half a pack of Skittles and approximately 3 oz of water a day.

But I’m really trying to forget it. And a particular incident at the SL Airport Park & Wait. I am working diligently to forget that too.

There’s a funny thing about morning sickness: no one has anything new to say on the subject. Approximately 99% of the Internet will tell you to sniff ginger. (You have no idea how angry that particular tip made me.) I also started getting very angry about all the “cute” morning sickness stories. You know, told by a woman bouncing a gorgeous, totally-born baby on her hip, “It was the funniest thing. I always had tuna fish on Thursdays. But that particular Thursday I took one look at my sandwich and couldn’t stomach it!”

Cute. Very cute.

But then there’s the 24 hour nausea that straight up won’t let up. I started having a hard time even thinking about a baby, because clearly being a mother makes me violently sick. I was also furious that no one told me it could be this bad. Wasn’t I supposed to get some kind of warning? Like, “Hey, Jenna, you may end up bawling at an Instacare when the check-in lady asks what you need to be treated for. And you’ll be so sick and dehydrated you won’t even be embarrassed.”

Was that 1000 words yet?

So one Sunday morning I woke up in total despair. Most days I had about a 15-minute grace period before the straight-up misery rolled in. This morning it was there to greet me even before the sun. I curled up in a ball. I prayed–hard–for help. I had said it for the last 3 weeks straight, but I could not possibly get through another day of sickness.

Then I got on the internet. I read about 3 articles on sniffing ginger and then found a blog by a woman with 10 kids. I liked the looks of this woman. She was pretty, had a nice house, and had 10 gorgeous kids. She also seemed rather pulled together. She had several amazing posts on mothering which made me cry. (I’m pregnant, remember?) She also said she liked to eat using the Dr. Brewer method.

A frenzy of research began.

By 7AM I had a plan. And I started eating. It was horrible. But for the entire day I made myself eat something with protein every TWO HOURS. I ate insane amounts of dairy. I choked down a yogurt halfway through church, hiding out in the parking lot. And here was the amazing part. I only cried for 20-seconds the ENTIRE DAY. You have no idea what an improvement that is. By the end of the day I tallied my eats. I’d eaten 8 times and consumed almost 100 grams of protein and 2200 calories. I’d also eaten a lot of fruit, and gotten plenty of calcium. I had even–wait for it–eaten 1.75 oz of grilled chicken and 1 cup of green beans. The italics are not an overuse. I hadn’t kept anything like that down in weeks.

Yes, I’d been nauseas 9/10 of the day. Yes, I’d puked a few times. But I felt so much better. I baked a batch of ginger cookies (no relation to the ginger sniffing articles). I took my dog on a 3 minute walk. I talked to my mom on the phone about something other than how hellish my life felt.

And for that, I love you Dr. Brewer. For even that one day of respite, I raise my slice of cheddar cheese (containing 10 grams of protein) to you.